emo

maybe it was all just a fling.
it has to be.
the leap. i took it. a mere miscalculation or ignorance for the total truth.
didn't want to look back and think about not taking the leap.
if words could only describe the experience.
the appreciation. the company. the time spent together. the expectations that should never surfaced. the keeping up with.
the jealousy. the way she led when i couldn't. the give-and-take. the whole.
how does one preserve memories? it's just thoughts that lapse whenever you feel a surge?
i even started a diary. makes me wonder why. it's been in movies.
you can try anything and it wouldn't change results; it's probably been taken of another movie.
although it is quite similiar in nature to this, writing here.
i believe that we're close to an end in this chapter.
writing and typing. two different sensations.
the difference would probably be that you could shut your eyes right after finishing an entry on a book rather than wandering aimlessly on the interweb just because you didn't feel sleepy enough.
what am i supposed to write about here?
what's the whole point?
words that were a facade to emotional breakdowns?
i even dare wonder.
i've seen reports. and news.
literature. journals.
should i e-mail her?
yes, i do have a thing with multi-tasking questions.
however, i do not keep up. i can only do so much.
improvements. revelations.