emo

people can be great pretenders sometimes. i was afraid she wouldve been lonely. so i asked her out for a movie. she just turned me down on the spot. and the best part is that ever since, we never developed. i gave up. i mean whats the point of forced entry? the whole concept seems so bullshit. its not like we never got the chance. it existed. but she destroyed it all. but why? is it me? nah, it couldnt be. it mustve been her. but what do i care?

sometimes when you ask an audience whether or not they can join you for something unplanned, be ready. ready for what? rejection, or acceptance? i dont even know. questions like are most likely being put forward to those who has been monitoring your blog. most of the time, you dont know whose checking you out. someone who cares? someone who wants to forget to care but cant? well, screw it. cos i aint being a fool anymore.

sometimes, actions are affected by words. khabar angin? thats about it. i cant stand it when rumours are spread sometimes. its like when its true, you just want it to be fake. vice versa. or sometimes you just wished you never heard. it might be about you. or someone who has a connection. sometimes, people backstab, people try to help, people want to hurt.

if only things were not so complicated. why did i have to crack my brains just so that i can try to find happiness? does it matter? does it not? why do i keep trying? why cant i stop? it started a long time ago. i moved on. countless times. its just stupid. but it never materialises. why i move on? isnt that a little not-loyal? i think, why waste time betting everything on nothing? ive had it since high school. form 6 girls. and then the working woman, old enough to be my sister, and a whole bunch of different people.

im desperate la k. i dunno whether its that big of an impact. but i just want somebody. desperation sucks. blogging about being desperate is even worse.

i mean look around la. everyone's holding hands.
but they say. you dont appreciate what you got easy.
i wish it didnt hurt. it didnt hurt to feel this way.
havent i learnt my lesson? with the lesbian? the addict? the elder sister? the depressed? the vain? the studious?
everyone is different. they possess a specialty beyond imagination.
i fail.
fail no more, lvl up. this is dota, its ro, wow, this is life.